Should the age of your partner or interest influence your decision to be with them? Okay, let’s get this clear.. we’re referring to two people that are both interested in each other/ it’s mutual.
My blunt answer would be that it actually means nothing whatsoever as an outsider to judge someone else’s age gap. But that’s the thing with judgement- we sometimes do it unconsciously and at most times it is at that subconscious level rather than at the conscious purposeful level that makes it hard for us to reflect.
Though I may be writing this I know I’m not perfect. When you hear something that is out of the norm, there is that initial knee-jerk reaction, that’s fine.. it’s not something we can stop. We can’t help our internal first impression but what we can do is be more accepting and question where our judgements originate from.
I myself come across various things in a single day where my mind may be judging without even realising and moments where I may actually verbalise judgements without intentionally realising. It’s difficult sometimes, especially when you need to be consciously mindful. But I can only try my best. Like what if I think and say something but don’t believe I’m make a judgement when in fact that is actually what I’m doing? So complicated.
As a society we sometimes overstep our mark and blur the lines of what should be kept within ourselves and what should be voiced. Yeah, you do have the right to voice your opinions, but truth be told, why would you waste your breath tearing down another person’s happiness. That’s actually honestly twisted.
Our actions actually tell us a lot about ourselves. Opinions are often fuelled by other underlying feelings and thoughts. There are certain things that are out of your control, including the free-will of others to pursue their love life.
If you have a problem with someone’s age gap, ask yourself “Why do I care so much?”
Society has placed an unspoken “perfect age gap” that is considered as being “acceptable”. Like.. who creates that?
I am a strong believer in this- maturity is one of the biggest and important focal points in whether one should pursue something or not..
There is no guarantee to say that a couple that has a “reasonable” or small age gap will have a “successful” relationship.
It honestly comes down to connection. Now whether that connection will last is another story but if you are fortunate enough in this life-time to have locked souls with another person who is mutually connected to you for all the right reasons, I don’t see why not.
Happiness is happiness. Obviously, we need to be quite aware of the “legal” age etc etc but if we are talking holistically..it doesn’t phase me.
Take that famous couple into the spotlight as an example- Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas.
Their age gap is about 10 years. Not only that but Priyanka is older than Nick. Another can of worms has been opened- why is it that a man should be older than the women.. it doesn’t make sense.
Okay, there are arguments surrounding the female’s ability to fall pregnant at a certain age etc etc., but honestly that isn’t our concern to worry about. Whether they want to have kids or not is also not our problem. Don’t even get me started on that. Why is there an assumption or expectation that all couples must have kids?
So many expectations and standards, too many I say!!
It is so very easy to put a blanket statement/ view on this topic but honestly happiness is subjective and with that subjectivity, it is to be realised there is NO actual right or wrong answer.
Same to life. We think we know the answer to many things but what we fail to realise is that there are so many questions that haven’t even been asked.
So how do we even know that we know so much? A little bit of a philosophical question for you to ponder on.
But I must give a pinch to those that are questioning their relationship. Look- if you are really interested in the person you are with vice versa, please don’t feel the need to validate yourselves. You are entitled to chase after happiness.
Most of what I have written thus far has been directed to “other people” and them judging you (if you are in a relationship with a “big” age gap) BUT that is somewhat actually silly.
The POWER is in your hands. The sooner you realise that you can only control yourself, you will understand that the effort being directed towards something or someone cannot be changed.
For me, in moments where you find yourself feeling happiness you should be absolutely drunk in that.
What do I mean?
Be so engrossed in the happiness you have surrounded yourself and don’t give a hoot about other people’s judgements, especially to those that just want to see your smile being upside down.
In life it is not your responsibility to ‘make’ someone accommodate to you but rather you accommodating yourself to yourself should be something you give more attention to.
You hold your destiny so stop being busy with others’.
I kinda had a rant against ‘others’ but I just wanted to equally pull the other half of my readers in line. I just wanted to make myself very clear, whatever seems to be concerning you, well you have given time, energy, power to the related negativity and so OBVIOUSLY there is that level of onus placed on you to find and follow your happiness despite the influence of others.
Don’t feel like you need to sacrifice your happiness for what society is telling you is “right”. After all, society doesn’t exist unless we give focus to it.
I guess most things I have said so far is most definitely different forms of judgements or more so an opinion, and who gives me the audacity to have opinions on this matter only to say that other people shouldn’t have their own opinions?
You’re right, it is kinda ironic but I’m at ease knowing that I’m not bothered by someone else’s life. The happiness of others should be contagious and if you have a problem with that, I don’t know maybe there are a few things you need to work on yourselves.
I really do love psychology because it peels many layers on why we behave the way we that we do. How are you behaving, and why? Why do you have such strong opinions or what has structured your opinions to being that? Why does the age gap bother you or why does it bother some people but not others? Food for thought.
Remember happiness breeds happiness.
My final comments to those that have entered into a MUTUAL relationship with that big age gap between the two of you.. remember you hold your thoughts so whilst you may hear chatter from others or unkind comments.. you also have the same ability to focus on what matters most.
Don’t give your attention to those that are willing to waste their breathe on something that doesn’t even concern them. At the end of the day, you have to make bold decisions so don’t give attention to those that are tearing you down.
Age is just a number, and a strong foundation built on love is most important, don’t you think?
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