2015 trauma resurfacing in 2021 and why I blamed so many and why I feel apologetic

Many of you may not already know but I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 in 2015. I stayed in hospital for 6 months and in hospital I witnessed and heard many stories of people’s struggles. I was only 18 and so hopeful. I was very distressed also.. I experienced many psychological trauma. This year in 2021 I had overload of stress and I did what I did in 2015 again, I started blowing things out of proportion and blaming many, many people. In hindsight, I definitely could have handled it better. I will be making a podcast on Spotify soon to educate people about my condition and how it affects me. Bipolar is a serious condition and for almost 5 years I was handling it quite well. I have now gotten things to a better manageable control. I want to take this opportunity to deeply say sorry to all that felt the wrath of my hatred. I have to say the trauma was not resolved and I never had closure until now. I’m sorry and one day I hope to say sorry to those I blamed. Mental health is so complex but I want to say we have so much to contribute. The mind is a phenomenal asset and if I can give an insight into my experience to help others than that is what I shall do. After all, I quit my job which also in hindsight was a silly thing to do but when you have a manic episode or climax towards one (which I think I was on the verge of one potentially, still debatable), you do a lot of silly things that can be hurtful. I hope I can build a more fruitful future.

My painting from Kmart .

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