Finding the balance between accountability and letting it go

This year I think I let the stress be the better of me.

I should capitalise on my strengths rather than bringing others down.

I realise with age comes realisation .

Coping mechanisms are different and hopefully in future stressors I can pour my heart in areas that I’m talented in.

Could I have handled my stress better? Absolutely .

Do I wish I could have done things differently ? Absolutely .

I’ve learnt that I was a people pleaser and I still am and that is what is so struggling . You can’t please the world but you can strive to be happier.

I think we all require a sense of belonging and with that yearning comes some selfishness . It’s hard to be completely selfless, at least in my life experience .

Anyways- I am always a student first before a teacher and I’m not afraid to say sorry.

I feel like there’s always room for improvement in my life and these experiences shape me to be more diversified .

Sometimes I think I know what is best but the real person that knows what is best is their own being and realisation .

In my person life I tried to give up meat but my Heath declined and I struggled . It is an ethical and moral dilemma I struggle with but because of my Health journey I have found myself eating meat again.

I applaud vegetarians who can commit , I lasted barely 2 months and my intentions were good but I just couldn’t last. Perhaps I will try again in the future but for now I have to be a little selfish with my Health.

Sigh – this is human life . Like a roller coaster . Ups and downs and imperfections .

I’m highly opinionated and sometimes that lands me in hot water .

I just hope one day my talents are utilised in a field that is both complementary with my creative efforts and passion.

I think I got too ahead of myself and I need to pace myself and attend groups .

I have high goals even before committing to these goals and I need to really re-evaluate my life and go for a better direction.

Writing is therapeutic for me but I just want people to know I am a girl of significant flaws and trauma and I know I have a long journey of recovery.

2021 was a year of serious blaming and shaming – I realise now that accountability and letting go is a struggle street and how a person handles is personal . Sometimes people can accept the trauma and I wish I could but everything came like a tsunami.

My advice is pouring trauma in activities such as art, expression , motivation speaking as this gives a sense of contribution .

But then again, I contradict myself again because I am no expert , just a girl with a lot of experience.

Sometimes I need to pace myself

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