Our Purpose & Desires Change with Time

The purpose in life keeps changing. Just like change the time of the change matters. I thought I did have an ultimate purpose in life that brought about happiness but when you get confronted by a greater purpose in life or an experience that makes you feel happy, your initial purpose somewhat becomes decreased and loses its potency.

I still believe in my purpose but perhaps I’m not lucky to receive everything I desire or one of the most beautiful things in life which is the freedom to follow the heart. They say emotions sometimes take the better hold of you and I always thought my rational intellect would somewhat override these emotions.

Analysis can only do so much and trying to look at all perspectives is sometimes too draining. Perhaps if I had known that I would feel this way I would have never interacted or made subsequent contacts.

You hear amazing stories and wonder if they could ever happen to you but I guess some things do not even get the opportunity to flourish or even be considered. I always thought that fairness would be something that would be at the minimum standard towards any pursuit, but I guess fairness only exists in some place that is not known to Earth.

Every now and then we question our existence brought upon by the current moments in life. I’m not questioning my existence in a way that is destructive but rather pondering how forth to move forwards.

It’s often what we don’t explore that really hurts and a hope that was never taken that sears the heart because if an opportunity to find out and explore was given at least you would have known the outcome.

Perhaps it would be best to forget but memories are hard to supress or erase and from time to time they creep bringing about emotions that you thought were once settled.

I question why we have emotions when surely, we could purely work forwards with the rational mind. Wouldn’t that be easier? To be detached from the emotions and realise that emotions are just feelings, feelings that aren’t really of substantial worth.

For a person that relies heavily on feelings and rationality, it is incredibly difficult when emotions override the rational mind. But what if there was no right or wrong and an unexplored opportunity has caused these emotions to go into overdrive?

Somehow that hope must be quashed because what is at stake is greater than the loss. Compromise means that someone has lost something. Compromise means that one person hasn’t fully received what they had hoped for.

We crave so many things in life and those cravings are uniquely packaged and given to us. Some crave money, cars and status where others crave the simplicity of life and living at the minimum to potentially attain a more fulfilling life. I guess we all want happiness and as they say as one door closes another one opens.

What if I don’t want this door to close? What if I just wanted to see if there was a chance? Once the door is shut there must be a realisation and forfeit of what could have been. That hope you had imagined would essentially be stripped away from you.

Luck is a concept. A feeling that people feel. It is definitely subjective. Luck is what you perceive it to be and if I feel like I am unlucky in a certain domain in my life, am I wrong to feel this?

I guess this is just something to ponder upon where the realisation of reality comes into play. So many things to consider and so many emotions at play. I thought I was rational, but I guess emotions are emotions and feelings are feelings. What else can I say? It is what it is.


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